Happily everDon't say it!
by Temporal Austenite
Summary: Sally pushed Carrot to propose to Angua and neatly fixes things so that Angua has no real way to say no. Not, of course, that she doesn't want to say yes. But a human and a werewolf? It'd never work...especially if you don't try...Read and Review! Please
1. Chapter 1

"How long have you been going out with him?"

"Years." Sergeant Angua shrugged.

"And he hasn't proposed yet?"

"Sally!" Angua sighed. "I don't think he knows anything about that sort of thing!"

Sally von Humpeding, now a constable, sighed. "Of course he does. He just doesn't know how it works."

"Besides, it'd never work! A human and a werewolf! Insane!"

Sally sighed. "It's worked pretty well so far."

"This is different!"

"No, it's not! Listen will you?" Sally said. "Angua, you love him. And, in fact, he loves you back. Listen, if I asked him if it were the city or you, it'd be no contest. He followed you _on_ _foot_, with out proper clothes, to _Überwald_!"

"Yes, well, I know that-"

"He would have lunged at another werewolf for you!"

Angua frowned. "You're being difficult."

"No, you are." Sally said. "It's as plain as the nose on your face. As a Wolf!"

Angua sighed. "Look, I don't think he's ever going to, as it were, propose. He's happy as it is right now-"

"Are you?"

Angua bit her tongue to keep from replying honestly. "It's better this way." She said quietly.

"No, it isn't. Look, will you? You jumped in front of a very fast piece of metal to keep him from dying! He fought your brother for you."

"I _could_ have taken him."

"I'm sure you could have. _That_, however, is _not_ the point." Sally said tartly.

Angua appeared thoughtful for a moment. "How do you learn these stories?"

"Watchmen gossip like old washerwomen." Sally said, waving her hand dismissively. "The point," She said, striving to keep the conversation on the right path, "That I'm make is that you would both be happy if you were married."

"Says who? It annoys him that people carry around silver!"

"It annoys him that they carry around small stakes too, and that people call the trolls names, and he doesn't even _swear_, Angua!"

"No, he doesn't, does he?"

"And it's not like Ankh-Morpork hasn't been trying it's hardest either."

"It'd be so much easier if he was a werewolf."

"No, no it wouldn't! Because if he was, he wouldn't be him!"

"So." Vimes said delicately to Carrot, "How are you and Angua?"

"We're fine sir." Said Carrot.

"Well, you've been seeing each other for a while, haven't you?"

"Yessir."

"Oh." Vimes said, now unsure.

"How did you propose to Lady Sybil, sir?" "Er. Well. It was sort of, ah, an agreement. I was going to ask her, and I suppose she knew that already, and er," Vimes continued nervously, "it was, well, agreed."

"It's just that I thought I might ask Angua."

"I'm sure she'd say yes, Carrot."

"Only, I'm afraid that she might run away." Carrot continued.

Vimes eyebrows came together. "What?"

"See, Cheery said that the time that Vetinari was ill, after we'd all gotten it sorted out, Angua thought it was too much for me. That is, it was really annoying me about the whole silver thing."

"Wasn't it?"

"Yes, but sir, I've gotten over that."

"She was running away?"

"Yes sir, but I'd appreciate it-"

"She'd better not run away! It's my damn watch, and she's one of the best damn sergeants I've got! What am I supposed to do, swear in a new one?"

"If you didn't mention it. She doesn't know that Cheery told me." Carrot continued. "I'm afraid she might feel her trust was broken."

Vimes frowned for a moment. "So, how were you planning on asking her?"

"That's why I was asking you sir."

Sally sighed again. "Think for just a moment, will you? Why have you been staying here?"

"Because I can always run away-"

"Yes, but _why_ would you be running away?"

"Because it'd be what's best for him!"

"And you don't think that he'd cry and be sad?"

"No, but he'd get over it." Angua said with less certainty.

Sally gave her a Look. "Really? Angua, really? Besides, would you ever get over it?"

Angua blushed Cherry red. "But it'd be better for him-"

"Don't you think he feels the same way about you?"

Angua blushed scarlet.

"Imagine, just _once_ how it would be."

Angua opened her mind's imagination…

_They could work together, and live together. He'd even understand about the shutters being closed. They could have a nice house just on the outskirts of town. They wouldn't even have to pay for it-she could send a letter to her parents for money. They could have children-_

And that's where the fairytale stops. Because there could be problems. No, not could. _Would_. There always were. If they had kids, what would stop them from being all wolf?

"It wouldn't work."

"Because you keep making problems for yourself."

"I'm a werewolf!"

"What's one of your problems?"

"Well, if we have any kids…"

"You'd be afraid of having a full wolf?"

The vampire could practically read her mind! "It'd be an awful thing!"

"I don't think Carrot would mind." Sally said carefully.

"No, he wouldn't. I told him my brother was a champion sheepherder, and when I just called him a sheepherder, he said, 'A _Champion_ sheepherder.'"

"Well, there you go-"

"No, it's not 'there you go'. It's not!"

"Why!?"

"Because!" Angua said, angrily. "Because it never works out, and it never will."

"_Not_ if you don't give it a try."

"So you think I should talk to Colon?"

"Er. No?"

"What about Detritus?"

"No." Vimes said, much more definitely.

"Who then?"

"Well." Vimes said, "Who has she been close to lately?"

"Well, she did go out for drinks with Sally and Cheery, and she has been talking to Sally a bit."

"Well, there you go-" Vimes stopped. "A werewolf and a vampire? They went out for drinks? Together?"

"Yes sir."

"And there was nothing wrong?"

"No sir. I don't believe so."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty much so sir."

Vimes frowned. As usual it had been a long day. If a vampire and a werewolf wanted to go out and have drinks together, who was he to stop them? Vetinari was all for them all getting along. "Well, Maybe you could talk to Constable von Humpeding about it. I'm sure she has some good ideas."

Angua sighed angrily. "I've got to get to the watch house."

"I'll walk with you." Sally offered.

"No!" Angua said. "I need to think."

"I'm going to the watch house anyway. I'm on duty."

"Fine." Angua said. "But don't you _dare_ mention any of this to anyone. _Especially_ Carrot."

"Fine." Sally agreed amiably. "I won't. But I have Cheery waiting at Mrs. Palm's, to tell me if you even try running away after this."

"That's not fair." Angua said.

"Life is not fair. I just don't want you running out on my account."


	2. Chapter 2

**Carrot's face broke out into a radiant smile as Angua walked into the watch house. It wasn't fair really. She smiled back. "Hello." Sally slid past them and in to the locker room. There was an awkward pause.**

"**How are you?"**

"**I'm fine. How are you?"**

"**I'm doing great. Listen Angua-"**

**There was a loud noise in the locker room. Carrot and Angua traded a look and rushed in.**

**Vimes, unfortunately, got there first.**

"**What just happened?" He asked, "Now, I know not one of you is stupid enough to tell me the truth, so who's smart enough to come up with a good lie?"**

**Nobby stepped forward. "No lie sir. See, Constable von Humpeding came in from outside and noticed that lance constable Rhyolite-"**

"**Constable-" Rhyolite coughed.**

**Vimes eyes flashed. "You quit the force, because of Koom Valley. Which, as everyone now knows, is a pretty stupid reason to quite the force. You quit, you start on the first level. All over again." He said with venom.**

**Rhyolite shut up quickly. Nobby glanced around nervously and continued, "Sally saw Rhyolite…smoking, which as you know we're not allowed to do on duty, so she told him to take it out, and because he didn't…he didn't hear her," Nobby continued, really catching the line of the lie, " He continued smoking it, sir, so Constable Ringfoundersson told him to and…and then Rhyolite threw it down, to snuff it out sir, but it fell on Constable Ringfoundersson and we all rushed to help because it would be bad if his beard caught fire."**

**Angua and Carrot stared in horror at the frozen scene before them. Sally had Rhyolite against the wall, with the help of Lance Constable Brick while Sergeant Cheery, who, Angua noticed, was at the watch house, not at her house, and constable Haddock were holding constable Ringfoundersson back. In between, still smoldering, was a troll cigar.**

**In all respects it was a good lie. It wasn't even really a lie, except the bits about the reasons for the actions. Vimes frowned, and everyone in the room inched back mentally.**

"**So it was only almost a bad accident? Caused by carelessness? Not because there's still some sort of odd dislike between two races and anger about a lower status than another watchman? Because I **_**know**_** that Sergeant Angua and Constable Sally get along well." Vimes said, looking around sharply. "And that's harder for them to do, isn't?"**

"**Yessir."**

**Vimes sighed. "Get back to work then. I'd snuff out that cigar, if I were you, **_**Lance**_** constable Rhyolite." He gave the 'lance' and extra turn, "And don't let me catch you 'smoking' again."**

**After Vimes had left the room-he had stood there for a few more minutes, watching everyone stay still and sweat-Sally relaxed and let Rhyolite off of the wall. She narrowed her eyes at him, freezing him in place against the wall. "**_**Never**_** forget that I can do that. I **_**am**_** a vampire. So long as I am of a higher rank then you, you will **_**always**_** listen to what I say."**

**Rhyolite nodded mutely.**

"**Because insubordination is bad, isn't it?"**

**Rhyolite nodded mutely again.**

"**I'm so glad we agree." She stepped aside and he ran out onto the street.**

**Brick just stepped away, because it was obvious he wasn't doing anything. He snuffed out the cigar, and chanced a glance at Carrot. He nodded. "You heard Commander Vimes. Get back to work."**

"**I've got to go see the Commander- will you be alright?"**

"**I'll be fine." Angua whispered, rolling her eyes. "Who would act up around a werewolf and a vampire?"**

**Carrot nodded. "I'll see you later then."**

"**Yes." He rushed after Vimes. Angua's eyes narrowed on Sally.**

**She opened her eyes widely the picture of innocence. "What?"**

**Angua stalked over. "Cheery's here. You lied to me."**

"**What was I supposed to do? You might have walked off if I hadn't told you that. But now you have to work."**

"**Who am I on patrol with today anyway?"**

"**Brick, Angua."**

**She sighed and opened her eyes. "Okay. Where are we patrolling Brick?"**

"**We is patrolling' da outskirts of da Shades today." He answered.**

"**I can't wait." Angua said dryly.**

"**Well, if yous wantin' to go now-"**

"**No, Brick. Go get your armor on." She sighed. "We'll need it."**

"**Yes Sergeant." He said dumbly.**

"**And don't you lie to me again." She said, turning sharply on her heel to face Sally.**

**Sally smirked. "Yes, Sergeant."**

**Angua turned out of the room, knowing that Sally was lying to her, and there was nothing she could do about it.**

**Carrot stuck his head out of his office. "Constable von Humpeding?"**

**Sally stepped out of the fray. "Sir?"**

"**Can you come here?"**

"**Of course." She said, following him into the room. He quietly shut the door. "Sir, if it's about what I said to Rhyolite, he had it coming to him-"**

"**No, and I admire you talking to him about being disrespectful. He's one of the biggest trolls on the force." He said kindly.**

"**And I'm the only vampire." She sighed. "Then what do you want to talk to me about?"**

**Carrot looked a little lost, so she took pity on him, "Is it about Angua?"**

**He nodded. "Yes. See, we've been courting for years," Sally made a mental note to herself that Carrot used words like, 'courting'. "And I believe I love her."**

"**That's great sir." Sally said encouragingly.**

"**And I want to tell her."**

"**That's wonderful sir."**

"**That I want to marry her."**

**Sally stopped and blinked. "Er, that's good? Sir?"**

"**Is it?" He asked miserably, "Because I know she's run off before because she thinks it's better for me-"**

"**Who told you that?"**

"**Cheery."**

"**Ah."**

"**And I don't want her to. I want to marry her, you see."**

"**I believe you said that sir."**

**Carrot sighed. "But I don't know how to ask her with out her running off. Do you know I once went to Überwald-"**

"**Yessir. Cheery told me. She's a reliable gossip."**

"**She is, isn't she?" He asked brightly. "Still."**

"**Well, sir," Sally said, "If **_**someone**_** were to ask Sergeant Angua to marry them, I suppose that they might go to a jewelers, with a little help of an amazingly rich friend-**_**no, not Commander Vimes, he wouldn't know romantic if it bit him-**_**" Sally said, cutting off his line of thought, "And find a suitable ring to give her and then, again with the help of a suitably rich friend, **_**again, not Commander Vimes**_**, get a reservation at a very nice restaurant, not, say, a dwarf **_**bar**_**, and take her out. If that **_**someone,**_**" Please, please, let him catch on to these thinly disguised hints, Sally prayed, "Were to ask her over dinner, then I suppose that she might say yes."**

**Carrot frowned. "So I should get a ring and ask her over dinner?"**

"**Yes."**

"**I just have one question."**

"**What?"**

"**Where would I get an amazingly rich friend who's not Commander Vimes?"**

**Sally sighed. "I'll help you out, okay Captain? I am Angua's, er, friend after all." She wrote out an address. "Meet me here at six o'clock."**

"**Okay, Constable. Get back to work please."**

**Sally saluted sharply. "Yes sir."**

**Angua looked at Brick and sighed. She could just talk at him, and he wouldn't remember a word she said.**

**But she didn't like airing her dirty laundry.**

"**Why is we patrolin' da shades?"**

"**To put our faces out and about." She replied. "Carrot says it's important that the community knows we are able to protect them."**

"**Dat Captain Carrot, he say lotsa tings."**

"**Excuse me?" Angua said as politely as she could. **

"**Nothin' bad. Captain Carrot, he very nice to Brick. He like Mr. Shine. Nice and smart, dey is."**

"**He is isn't he?"**

"**Captain Carrot, he not as tricky as Mr. Shine though. He honest like anyting, though."**

"**Yes, he is." Angua said. "Come on Brick. It's almost six."**

**The clocks around the city started to chime six, and Carrot showed up promptly. Sally leaned carefully in the doorway. "Come on then Captain." She said. "It's not like they're monsters anyway."**

**Carrot smiled. "Yes, I suppose."**

"**And they're quiet too. Have to be. Criminals hock their stuff here."**

"**What?"**

"**I wouldn't worry about it though. They sell the stolen stuff to other jewelers all around town, so this is the only place with absolutely no stolen things in it."**

"**Oh." Carrot said.**

"**Come on in, Captain."**

"**Hello Lance Constable-or is it Constable now? And Captain Carrot! What a pleasure! You're here for a little something for your young Lady then?"**

"**Er. Yes."**

"**He wants something very special. A size six ring, please. Diamond. Small. And be quick about getting it out, I'm on evening shift." Sally said impatiently.**

"**Yes, of course Constable. One moment please." The old man disappeared into the back room.**

"**Why does he seem afraid of you?"**

"**He forgot to sell a diamond and pearl bracelet that belonged to my grandmother. I got him for it when I got to the city. He's a useful person when you're looking for criminals." Sally smiled ruthlessly. **

**Carrot didn't ask. The old man returned.**

"**This one was made by my grandfather, one of many. When the owners sell the jewelry back to me, I keep his stuff."**

"**The original owners?" Sally asked sharply.**

"**Oh yes miss, Spoons and Teemers make the bills of sales for me."**

"**Constable." Sally said.**

"**Sorry, sorry, Constable, yes of course, how could I forget?"**

**Carrot picked up a small ring. "This one is nice."**

"**yes, yes." the old man said.**

"**It is. Lovely ring." Sally said, seeing the problem immediately.**

"**Not silver, I hope, only-"**

"**She's allergic to silver? I have a gold version right here." The old man said. "Makes the diamond look clearer, see?"**

**He nodded. "I like it."**

"**Good, we'll just draw up a bill of sale-"**

"**Captain!" Sally cried. "No, no! We want to know, Cut, Clarity and Karat!"**

"**Oh, that's easy miss! 24-karot, clear as a bell, and heart cut."**

"**It'll do." She said carefully. "What's the price?"**

"**Six hundred for you, miss."**

"**Give it to Captain Carrot, then put it on my bill."**

"**Yes Corporal!"**

**Sally grabbed Carrot by the arm and dragged him out of the shop. "Look, I've only got twenty minutes before I go on duty, and I can't be late because I was helping you out! Come on, I know just the restaurant."**

**They came out of Wining and Dining, one of the more upper class establishments in the city. It was, again, placed on Sally's dime.**

"**I could pay-"**

"**No, Captain, you couldn't. There are about two people on the watch who can pay for all of this, and both of us don't normally do any of this."**

"**Oh."**

"**Besides, I like helping you and Angua. Not a word of this, remember."**

"**Er. Right?"**

"**Right." Sally ran off to the watch house, leaving Captain Carrot standing lost in a sea of richness he had never imagined.**

_**A bit longer than last time, I must admit, however(there's always a however and it's almost as bad as a Nevertheless) it was mostly Angua, so I had to throw in more Carrot. Lots of fun. Read and Review! Please!**_

_**I don't own Discworld, I don't know the characters. I don't know Terry Pratchett. But I wish I did though! **_


	3. Chapter 3

Here we go again! I must apologize for the delay in the postings…it's been…wait a minute…a long thyme!!!! Sorry!

"Carrot!" Said Angua the next morning. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

He paused, standing in the doorway at Mrs. Cake's. "Well, I figured that since we both had the day off we could go for another walk…"

Angua groaned internally.

"And go out for dinner tonight."

"Well, I suppose we can." She said. "Except I've got Sally coming over for three o'clock and she wanted me to try on some old dresses she has…"

"Oh, don't worry!" Carrot said happily, 'I'm sure we'll be back by then. Besides, I want to talk to Commander Vimes, and he's told me that Lady Sybil only wants him working from twelve to five today anyway."

"Really?" Angua said. "He's listening?"

"Oh, yes." He said. "Do you want breakfast? Only Gimlet's open…"

"Sure. Why not?" Angua said. "Sounds like fun." She continued sarcastically. "Maybe we could go see how the Bread Museum is doing."

"That's a great suggestion Angua!"

"Wait Carrot. Explain this all to me again." Commander Vimes said. "_Sally_ took you to a under the table sort of establishment, bought you a ring to give _Angua_, then paid for a dinner for the both of you?"

"Yessir." Carrot said.

"Ah. Why didn't you talk to me?"

"Because Sally said that you wouldn't be a good person to ask about the romantic side of things sir."

"Oh. Did she?"

"I believe that her exact words were 'No, not commander vimes, he wouldn't know romantic if it bit him'."

It was true. Vimes knew it was true. Heck he'd said it often enough himself. That didn't mean that a vampire could say it! "Yes."

"I don't think she meant to be insulting." Carrot said helpfully. "I don't think she meant for me to repeat it either."

"Oh, really?"

"No sir."

"Go call her in for me, will you?"

"She's off until night watch tonight." Carrot said. "But I'm sure she'd be glad to talk to you."

"Angua?" Mrs. Cake said. "I've just had a premonition."

"Yes Mrs. Cake?"

"A young Lady is going to be calling for you with a bundle of bags under her arm."

"That'd be Sally. When will she be coming?"

"In about a minute. Now you're going to say, 'Would you mind showing her in, Mrs. Cake?'"

"Would you mind showing her in, Mrs. Cake?"

"No, no of course not dear. I'll go wait by the door."

"Thank you Mrs. Cake."

Angua tidied her room up a bit, which involved shoving her clothes into her closet and making her bed. Much more than that would have seemed like over kill. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" She called.

Sally cautiously opened the door. "I brought some shoes that one of my old friends sent me too."

"Size six?"

"I didn't buy them! Annamia likes to buy things but doesn't know anything about the size."

Angua sighed. "Does she have a 'Von' in front or her name?"

"You do."

"Oh." She blushed. "What did you bring me?"

"Well, there's this long red one-"

"I don't wear red." Said Angua flatly.

"Alright…" Sally replied, pushing the dress away. She pulled out another dress. It was a dreamy blue dress of the princess cut variety. It had a sheer lighter blue cloth over the long blue skirt and a small train.

"Oh." She said. Sally grinned.

"Try it on."

"I couldn't." Said Angua, her hand reaching for the dress. She pulled it back. "It's a dress for a princess."

"You're the daughter of a baron." Sally said.

Angua didn't look away from the dress.

"It has matching shoes. And came with a string of pearls and no silver."

Angua's bottom lip came out.

"It'd go great with your hair." Sally continued, almost pleading.

Angua's hand brushed the skirt.

Sally grinned wickedly. "Well, if you don't want it, I guess I can send it back-"

Angua froze. "There's no reason I can't try it on, I suppose."

"It wouldn't hurt anything."

"Right." Angua held the dress delicately and went behind her screen to get changed. Sally brought over the shoes. She went and asked Mrs. Cake for a full length mirror. She handed Angua the string of pearls. Mrs. Cake came in to see what Angua looked like.

"Ah, Vimes, it's so good to see you."

"Sir." Vimes replied.

"You, of course, know what this is about."

"No sir." Vimes replied. "I don't."

Havelock Vetinari looked up at him. "I believe you were among the first to know that Captain Carrot is planning on asking Sergeant Angua to marry him tonight? At Wining and Dinning, in fact?"

How did he do it? _He_ had only found out about half an hour ago! His clerks couldn't be watching everything! And Sally, he was sure, had been very quiet about everything. Everything had been done under her name! So how did Vetinari know? "Yes sir?"

"How nice of them. I will of course, have my clerks on all of the gates tonight."

"Sir?"

"Sybil is expecting you home soon. Do you think he will invite me to the wedding? Ha ahaha."

"Sir." Vimes said, leaving the room.

"Drumknott? I shall need the clacks and post monitored."

"Yes sir."

"But only if I don't get an invitation."

"Oh." Said Angua. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." Said Sally. "It fits you like a dream, Angua! You're a vision!"

"You look lovely, dear, like a true princess."

Angua blushed.

"Look, see what Carrot thinks alright?" Sally said. "If he doesn't like it, then say the word and I'll take it back."

Angua nodded, and sat down. Sally grinned.

"You know," She said, "There's this great hair style that I saw that would go great with it."

Angua touched her hair and curled a strand around her index finger. "Really?"

Aww…how come Sally and Angua get all the nice dresses? How come Vimes isn't creeped out by Vetinari? Read and Review!


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the lateness! Thanks for all reviews! This is it folks!_

Commander Vimes had gone back to the watch house to proceed with Carrot to Mrs. Cake's. Carrot walked nervously and only nodded at the people he knew (This means there was a lot of nodding).

"Sir?"

"Yes Carrot?"

"How did your meeting with the patrician go?"

"Send him an invitation."

"Sir?"

Vimes quickly covered. "Angua is the daughter of a baron. Politics," Vimes spat, "require that Vetinari be invited. It's one of those things."

"I was going to anyway sir!" Said Carrot happily. "You and Lady Sybil and young Sam too, and Fred and his wife, and Nobby, and Detritus too, and Sally, and Ruby. And maybe-"

"Just about everyone, huh?"

"Yes sir!"

Vimes nodded. They turned down the street and Carrot lapsed into silence again. Vimes shrugged. Carrot had to be nervous. He knew that he had been when he had gone to ask Sybil. Still, Angua would be around for work tomorrow in any case. Even if she woke up in the cells.

They turned down a different street and stopped in front of a house. Vimes eyes opened. "Mrs. Cake's? She stays here?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh…that's nice. Er."

Carrot stepped forward and knocked on the door.

"I'll just go…"

"Oh, no sir. I'm sure Sally's here."

"Er…

"And you wanted to talk to her."

"Yes…"

"Hello?" Asked a suspicious voice.

"Hello!" Said Carrot pleasantly.

"Oh, _Hello_ Captain! Do come in! How nice! I'll just tell Angua you're here. Hello sir."

"This is Commander Vimes, Mrs. Cake."

"Hello!"

Vimes saluted. Mrs. Cake giggled and walked up stairs.

Sally came down first. "Not a word, remember." She whispered quickly. "And watch the stairs."

Vimes turned his head as Carrot did and caught sight of a blue shoe at the top of the stairs. Slowly the rest of the dress came in to view, then Angua.

Carrot eyes widened and his mouth dropped as she stood, blushing a bit, at the bottom of the stairs.

She got a bit annoyed after a second. "Well?"

"You look beautiful Angua." He closed his mouth. "Well, come on, we'd better be going-"

She looked panicked, "To Gimlet's? In this?"

"Er no. I've got a bit of a surprise…"

"I'll send my chair along, shall I?" Vimes said to Carrot as he walked out of the door.

"Thank you sir." He said, closing the door.

"It'll be waiting outside for you." Vimes called after him.

"Actually…" Sally said, "There's a coach that'll be here in a few seconds…"

There was the crunching of gravel outside. Vimes frowned as Carrot helped Angua into a white sparkling carriage.

"Er…"

He turned on her. "Wouldn't know romantic if it bit me!"

Sally bit her lips and shrugged. "Er."

"I'll grant you that you did a good job. They certainly look the parts of the Dashing and Gallant Prince and the Elegant and Refined Princess."

"Thank you sir?"

"But you shouldn't say stuff like that!"

"If I didn't, all apologies, he _would_ have gone to you sir."

Vimes Grunted. "Well, get to work."

She saluted smartly. "Yessir."

Vimes sighed and went home to read to young Sam. In young Sam's world everything was a lot simpler, and involved a lot more sheep.

"Wow…did you arrange for all of this?"

Carrot shrugged.

"Where are we going?"

"Wining and Dinning." He answered.

"Oh." Angua didn't ask where he got all of the money for a trip out like this. She just figured that, well, He had asked the Commander for help. And then Sybil got involved.

He was silent for a moment.

She was even more silent.

The horses were silent too.

"Do you know," Said the driver, ignoring the silence, "That this is the first time I've ever driven a fancy carriage like this?"

They traded looks.

"Name's Jimmy by the way. Normally drive the mail coaches. Do you want to see how fast I can go?"

"No!" Angua said hurriedly. "Don't want to ruin the dress!"

Carrot looked at her with his eyes raised. "Ruin the dress?" He whispered.

"I don't drive fast."

Carrot nodded. He, as a general rule, didn't drive fast. Or he wouldn't if he had anything to drive. He paused and nodded. "Yes. Right. Bad idea, driving fast."

"It is, isn't it?" Angua sighed. "Er."

"Yes."

_It'd be nice if we were walking. At least, if we were walking, we could pretend we were paying attention to where we were walking. If we were walking._ Angua sighed and looked out the window.

"Nice day out, isn't it?'

"Hmm? Oh. Yes."

"Right."

"Carrot?"

"Yes Angua?"

"Why are we doing all of this? I mean really."

"I just thought we needed a nice date." he said, radiating honesty.

_He doesn't lie. He tries not to. But that doesn't mean it's the whole truth he's telling me._

"Is that all?"

"What else would there be?"

It would be impossible to get anything from him right now. Angua sighed and looked out the window again.

"So do you think that Angua will send out invitations?"

Vimes sighed at his wife. "Am I really unromantic?"

"Sam, most men are."

"Yes?" Vimes said, hazarding a guess.

"Yes, Sam. Here's a sock Sam. Do you have any more that need darning?"

Sybil, to be honest, was a faithful, albeit pathetic, needle worker. She couldn't sew at all. But she wouldn't let that stop her, even if she could buy him new socks for everyday of the week, for ten years in a row.

And he would wear them, everyday.

"This is nice." Said Carrot. "Isn't it?"

"Yes." Angua agreed, for what must have been the fifth time.

"What were you thinking of getting for dessert?"

"Well, I thought I might like a slice of the Carrot Cake." She watched as the feeble pun slide past him.

"Yes. I wanted some chocolate maybe."

"That sounds good."

"Angua?"

"Yes Carrot?"

"You know how we've been dating for a while, and I've grown very fond of you. I love you, Angua. So, I wanted to ask you, Angua von Uberwald, will you marry me?"

"What?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Where did this come from Carrot? It was going so nicely!"

"I want to marry you?"

"Yes." She sighed, then relaxed. "I think I gathered that. My question is, who put the idea in your head?"

"No one?"

"Don't give me that! Carrot…"

"Is this a no?"

"I don't know Carrot. I just…don't know."

"So could it be a maybe?" He asked, persevering.

Angua sighed. "Carrot, have you thought this through?"

"Yes." He answered promptly. "I love you, And-"

"I'm a werewolf." She cut him off. "I'd never work."

"You never know unless you try." He said, honesty shining from his every pore.

She looked lost.

"Do you love me?" he asked her.

"Yes, of course Carrot-"

"Do you want to marry me?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"But what?"

She frowned and pursed her lips.

"It wouldn't work."

"You never know."

He held out a ring, and held her hand. He looked into her eyes with his honest ones. "Will you marry me Angua?"

_You never know. Not if you don't try._

She bit her lip. She looked at the ring. Pure, shining gold.

_You never know._

"Yes."

Yay! And, just to make me happy, even though this never happens, not even in Discworld…

_**And They Lived Happily Ever After.**_

In Discworld, it'd end this way…

_**And They Lived Happily Ever After.**_

_**For The Most Part, Anyway.**_


End file.
